To
Professor Gilderoy Lockhart
St Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries
Janus Thickey Ward for Permanent Spell Damage
My dear Professor,
Such a loss! Your retirement to St Mungo's has left us fans devastated. And yet, you continued with your author skills and dictated Who Am I?. It is heartbreaking, yet, motivational to see you in a straightjacket on the cover. Hi! I am The Abbie and I believe you do remember me as one of your most dedicated followers on Twitter.
They describe you as 'completely insane and amnesiac' and I say yay! Insane is the new normal, right? Today, with everybody in a lockdown around the world, they are as sane as you and I. You must have heard that it was a Memory Charm that backfired. Ron Weasley's damaged wand! Tragic! It is unfortunate that nobody (friend or family) was willing to host you as a resident and had you locked down at St Mungo's. I do not like hospitals, Professor. And I feel that they are certainly not doing your stylish, awesome self any justice there. I mean you are a 5 times winner of Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile Award!
I am writing to you to make an offer, Professor! It is in your best interest to accept! I deal in Wizard and Muggle accommodations and can help find you a good place suited to your charm, on the East Coast, in Maryland, USA. It will be within reasonable air and road distance from the Wizarding World of Harry Potter in Orlando which means access to Butterbeer! I assume Who Am I? is doing well, considering there are ardent Lockhart fans increasing by the day. So you can start at a discounted rent rate. I understand there will be some hospital staff visiting, so I'd need IDs to keep on file (troubled times! could be Death Eaters!).
I hope to hear from you soon, Professor! Once you are discharged from that depressing place, we can have you fitted in some new, outstanding robes like the good old days. Perhaps you can write another masterpiece, say we call it Memoirs from Mungo's (I am quite a writer myself). O! And we can also work on commercializing your Occamy Egg Yolk Shampoo. Even better! You can attempt a breakthrough for the Novel Corona Virus (Covid-19) that's keeping us in a lockdown at present.
Ah! Jolly good! Sorted! Hope to get an owl from you soon! You can use the one I sent (given that St Mungo's may not let you send one), his name is Johnny Depp.
Sincerely Yours,
The Abbie (Twitter fan)
The Madhouse
East Coast, Maryland.
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This post is part of the April A to Z Challenge 2020
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