Letter To My 14 Year Old Self

Dear Abbie,
Yes, that is what you are called 18 years from now! Who am I? Well, I am your 32 year old self (turning 32 on November 19, 2018 if you must know!) and I'm writing from Maryland, USA! That is where you live! Yes! Live! You are a US citizen now and Donald Trump (the businessman!) is in the White House! You better believe me because I have what you will come to know years down the road an iPhone and it is a smartphone that lets you use the Internet, take photos, read books, and watch movies at the same time! A woman with such a gadget demands to be believed in! I have some quick reveals about the future that you need to sink into your brains (which are scheduled to be fried toast by 2018).
Okay! So you live in the US! That house you saw in Scream? Yours is like that - even better. And, the psycho killer Billy Loomis you have given your heart to is 48 years old and starring as a teen's father, gang leader of the Southside Serpents (biker gangster club) in a show called Riverdale! You are still in love with him! Too much information, right? Stay put, there's more. You have Internet working with the speed of light!
You have an MBA with a 4.0 GPA! Hello! MBA! That's Business Management! The same major your first real life crush is doing and you have zero clue about because you're what in high school!? So stop telling everyone you'd be a gynecologist because you ain't checking tubes ever! Trust me, you don't want to! Wake up call! You're a property manager today!
Your days are tough my love. You wake up for Fajr prayer and bubble up oatmeal. On this note - hear me - you have lost weight! You look damn good! So stop paying attention to the sadist divorcee teacher who ridiculed you and gave you the public 'Humpty Dumpty' name and the super crazy other teacher who doesn't let a single chance to fat shame you go by! --- after downing the oats you go back to sleep to re-awaken at 9am to start off like a space shuttle launching for an urgent space mission. You attend to the problems of tenants at your rental properties. They clog toilets, delay rent payments, break stuff, and talk crazy! Paperwork keeps your awesomesauce writers' desk covered. You're classic because you're tackling serious work, managing a mad household, and pulling it smooth without a male head of the family. You drive a brilliant black car and are used as the Cabbie of the family. You've turned out to be a good chef so do not worry about not being able to light a matchstick - the stove is electric here! *WINKS* --- You spend long waiting hours in doctors' offices (Mom's under pain management for slipped disc and you manage healthcare). You do grocery. You look after the house! So rest well now! There's no rest ahead.
That Harry Potter book series you are so much in love with has become a religion! The 7 books turned to movies and movies turned to a theme park in Orlando Florida! Frozen Butterbeer is your most favorite beverage on earth.
Start respecting your baby sister - yes! That 9 year old ball of silliness is your guru, best buddy for life, game changer, strategizer, personal manager, etc. etc. etc. - In fact, she is the sole reason keeping your sanity in check. The two of you are partners in business and mischief! --- That brother of yours is now a father of 2 baby girls and you are in love with your nieces. They call you Bua and you've chosen that title after Nani.
FRIENDS --- you still don't have any and you are very happy about it! You have tried and tested your luck there - given gifts, heard and solved problems, stood up in support --- nothing pays back.
Wondering if I'd say something about your marriage? No my darling. You are still single at 32 and the ONLY remaining one in your circle of friends and acquaintances. The biggest troubles in your life are two: (1) Matrimonial matchmaker aunties, and (2) Desi immigrants who are after your US passport and will marry you even if you are 5 years older than them. You still believe in getting married only for love and the phenomenon is extinct in the world. On the marriage note --- Johnny Depp separated from Paradis and married a crazy woman who filed a domestic violence case against him and they divorced! --- He's been in troubled waters, dropped from Pirates of the Caribbean and well --- he's part of the Harry Potter movies now --- let's not give you too many spoilers now! Bottom line --- marriage ruins everything.
It's 12:15 am and I am get sleepy now love. There's remodeling and waterproofing work going on in the house and you'd be overlooking things with Sara and Mom. Haha! Go figure!
Goodnight, toodles!

THIS ENTRY IS WRITTEN FOR NOVEMBER JOURNALING MONTH 2018