“In difficult times, in dark times, some people shine.”
City of Lost Souls, Cassandra Clare
I begin Abbie's Diaries with these beautiful words from The Mortal Instruments - a current reading favorite. The books are about a half angel, half human breed called Shadowhunters. Scarred by angelic runes that give them different strengths and abilities, they are beings that restore balance between good and evil. In short, they fight demons. That makes each one of us a Shadowhunter, or not. The key word here is 'fight' - whether you put it up or succumb to defeat. Demons exist, not just in literal meaning but also, in our social spheres.
People.
The toughest fight we put up is against people who influence our lives in a toxic way. Our true potential is tested when tough times strike. That is when we find out whether we can shine, or drown in darkness. I've been on the flip side of the coin where I believed [quite foolishly] that I was the one who succumbed to darkness. I led myself to believe that when all doors of opportunity closed, when toxic relationships/acquaintances resorted to backstabbing, betrayal, jealousy, and disloyalty, I was the mundane one who would be easily played with.
I led myself to marinate in that miasma of toxic emotions [made lots of gothic poetry that way *grins*], before I burst out, cracking open the surface of the toxicity. I had realized I was the one who shines in dark and difficult times. My long-held belief that I could not break the spell of negativity was broken. To do that, I had to swim right down to the core of that toxic puddle. But here is the deal ... after a certain depth that core dissolves and a black hole begins. Unless you realize it's your make-or-break point, you will be sucked into another dimension before you could decide otherwise.
Before I was sucked into the black hole of my existence in which I would have rotted forever - living with the negative feelings, the sour experiences, the acrid realities, and the sob stories - I resurfaced. I began to shine.
"We have all the instruments within us, that make us or break us. It is your decision, whether you will shine or succumb to darkness."
The Abbie
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