Graphic: A Pink Dream by Juli-SnowWhite via Deviant Art
I am not the kind of positive, rainbows-and-sunshine-everyday thinker that pep talkers want me to be. I like keeping my personal dark cloud over my head! I am a woman with fears, insecurities, and gut feelings. They sum up to make the whole (mad!). I have taken notes from my personal experiences (ouch!), Godsend inspiration, and experiences of others around me (when they walk into walls I take notes!).
My gut feeling is my defense strategy. It is crafted after years of troubles. It is as if my psyche, my body, and my aura can all sense if something's the matter.
And, of course, when I word it all out the planet launches criticism at me. This world is a pushy place. There's always pressure to move on --- disregard past experiences, gut feelings, and fears and move on --- and this pressure pushes people (ladies in particular) to take a crazy step or disarm their defenses.
Fears, on the other hand, are not the same as gut feelings. They're the hovering dark clouds; the grey, empty mirrors, that cast an eerie shadow over the present. But I feel they are reminiscent of earlier mistakes, mishaps, and bitter happenings. And when they cloud my brain it is only for the better. In that fog I swim and find clarity. Again, the gurus of positive thinking would recommend stashing fears away. But, I cannot! They have delivered important lessons to me. And the fears that keep me from attempting the unknown, simply guide me to be more careful.
How much do you entertain your fears and gut feelings?