Cupid Week Blues Survival Guide

Since my teens [yes, I was a super observant one, and intolerant one too!], I have had the blues on February the Fourteenth [see! I type it like Friday the Thirteenth - not that I believe in either of them]. It is the nauseating Cupid week lined up ahead and I do not really enjoy the mass scale love, hearts, lips, smooches, and hugs associated with it. For some strange reason, men carrying giant stuffed teddy bears and heart shaped red balloons really disturb me. I'd rather imagine a Thor carrying the royal hammer [that looked like a hammer].

The coming of January announced February Fourteenth in retail stores all around. And, for me to duck. I'm not the misanthrope that I was during my Gothic years [all writers go goth in their teens I feel]. But I was never, and possibly can never be a hopeless romantic. I don't like cheesy romantic flicks, my Netflix is full of sci-fi and fantasy adventure. I am capable of being a romantic mightier than Shakespeare but without the hopelessness. Love is glorious, one should never fall.

I get the Cupid's Week blues, I am going to be honest. Why? Because my single friends actually share "I'm alone" graphics on Cupid's day. That is plain despair! The focus on marital relations, dating, romance just hypes up, and it's all hyperbole because I have seen the most crooked relationships between spouses and couples. Even those folks pretending to be Romeo and Juliet on one day of the year is a pain in the rear.

I have not yet come across one, single, respectable, decent man in my entire life. Unfortunate, but true. It's rather unfortunate because the fairytales go otherwise. I do not require one to buy me those special Godiva truffles - I have a debit card for that, loves. But the entire thing about a man's existence being of vital importance in a lady's life gets to me sometimes. I exist as a fantastic human being, thank God for that, and yet I am inquired about my other half. That's plain offensive, right? As if not being able to find the right gentleman is equal to roaming around with one leg, or one eye [reminds me of Mad Eye Moody].

Here are my top tips to avoid the Cupid's Week Blues:

[AVOID THE VALENTINE'S SECTION]
I am very skilled at pretending something, or someone, doesn't exist. The Valentine's section; however, cannot be ignored. To make matters worse, stores have huge sign board hanging from ceilings pointing [in big red arrows] to the 'Valentine's Section'. I liked the signs when they read 'Halloween'.
Absurdly pricey love merchandise on the shelves. I was looking at the assorted chocolates worth $50 for 30 pieces. I am pretty sure I have to have a crowned prince of God-knows-where to get those on my table. I bet the bestsellers are the $10 tins and the $5 pick-em-ups? That's measuring gestures of love by $$$, right? Well, I cannot deny the Taj Mahal if some emperor wants to build it for me - but it shouldn't be a tomb over my dead body, love, it should be my writing study or something.

[INDULGE IN SELF-LOVE]
"Is self-love equal to selfishness?" - asked a colleague [in high school days].
"No." - was my simple answer.
For some reason, he accepted it and never asked for explanations. Maybe that was the very thread the dude was hanging by. Self-love probably came as a ray of hope to him. He had major issues of being a misfit because of what he looked like. Yet, he made his way to the top - the very top and transformed into a best fit from a misfit. I knew the formula he had been working on - self-love.
We tend to forget to love ourselves in the process of trying to please the planet and meeting everybody else's expectations. I gave myself a precious gift too! A Starbucks card!

[AVOID SINGLE PEOPLE WHO LIKE RUBBING IN DESPERATION]
Those princesses who are ready to kiss a planet of frogs to get to the handsome prince get on my nerves. Where is the esteem in goofing around literally hunting for a man. Is it not supposed to happen to you? Or you forcefully make it happen? And while you're single, what's with the deal about advertising yourself as the lonesome cornerstone who talks to shadows? Is the bachelor period not natural? I like avoiding folks who grub about 'not having anybody to celebrate with'. Because, number one, darling, you don't HAVE to celebrate because it is not your birthday. And number two, even if you end-of-the-world have to, I'm pretty sure there is somebody around at the very least who deserves to be shown love. Even a neighbor!
Well it would make things difficult if the neighbor looks like Thor.

[AVOID THE MARRIED, THE ENGAGED, AND THE COMMITTED WHO CELEBRATE]
*gripes head in sheer helplessness*
I like seeing my friends who are happily married, but a live broadcast of your day on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram is a bit off. Then I just hide you from my News Feed right? Because I'm trying to check other Pages on Facebook, Twitter, and etc. that have some serious business.
"Happy Valentines Day to my coochie-coo" - when that shows up on my Facebook feed, I know what the trend would be like for the rest of the day...

"Coochie-coo and I getting ready for the day"

"Chickity-poo and I dressed up for Valentine's" [photo included of course, matching outfits! Bravo!]

"Snickety-loo and I at the mall, enjoying Valetine's day" [photo of sharing a love drink]

"Honey bun and I watching the sun set. P.S. We saw it rise too!" [photo of sunset through the palm of their hands making a heart shape]

And then there are those who share teddy bear quotes all day long. "Love is like rainbows ..." - HOLY CANOLI! Love may be rainbows but you don't have to go all loony and swallow one and puke it all over the social network! I am saying DON'T FLOOD! 

[CELEBRATE WITH FAMILY]
There are always dedicated yearly days for all couples. They are called anniversaries - and they are not created by card companies to sell merchandise. Spooky ones can even do monthly anniversaries, half yearly anniversaries, or even weekly anniversaries [trust me, my exposure to the weird lot is big!]. What I'm saying is, that if there is a day dedicated to love [minus the fact that it is a nonsense idea] and there are categories of mom, dad, sister, brother, grandma, on the card shelves, that means something.

Have a nonsense-free week. Love, literally.