Me Against My Self

Often I have been in the “Me Against the World” act because being part of the human race I, too, have had external conflicts. Negative psychology has often made me feel in a constant battle with the world; each day a struggle! But, as time hammered sense into my brain I realized I sailed a wrong boat.

The world is after me. I am so different! The minute such thoughts evolve, I self-inflicted a tough shell around myself. I was this
stubborn creature that refused to hatch and kept popping my head out of the cracks to scream: I’m not in here, go away. It’s me against the world. The planet earth is an assortment of diverse minds and souls that have varying potentials to control you. You can either be mentored to rise beyond standards by the good guys. Or ripped to shreds by victimizers. I found it essential to understand that it is not the victimizers who target us, but we allow ourselves the vulnerability to be targeted. There are multiple scenarios in which I allowed myself to be victimized by absurdities - distorted friendship circles, fearsome teachers, anorexic ramp models, and what not? It was always convenient to raise pointy fingers at the world out there when the real culprit was my own self! Denial is self deception, I discovered. And that is exactly what I was doing; denying reality. I concluded: Hey! It shouldn’t be me against the world but me against myself! And, that I needed to change instead of wishing for the world to alter.

          The change process began and I shall call it the Battle with the Self or Me Against Myself. It is a mortal combat, really where you end up killing your negative psychology.

We usually have a built-in armory to combat the demons of our own thought pool. The artillery just has to be unlocked. It comprises of experience, intellect, wisdom, self-commitment, self-esteem and humor.

Experience is a route map! Based on what we have lived, we seek to live ahead. We make our own legends of incredible feats or follies as we go and they mark out for us, the snakes and the ladders on our game board.

Intellect is the torch! Without it the route map cannot be interpreted. What we have already lived is our biggest training and development guide; the route map, and works wonders when we figure out a pattern of successful Yes’ and No’s, intellectually.

Wisdom is the sword! It severs at the very necklines of the impediments that waver one from the course and disturbs the motive.

Self-commitment is the bull’s eye! It is the motive that the warrior struggles for. If we commit to self-improvement and focus our undivided attention to achieving it, nobody can stop the struggle.

Self-esteem is a shield! Worthy are the ones who fight like heroes despite having fallen from glory. They live in the wake that life is a continuous struggle and without having tried they would be as good as dead.

Humor is a powerful hand grenade! Ah, but of course! What can be the better than humorous sarcasm to rip those to shreds that threaten our self-esteem? Attacks on self-worth, which is our strongest defense call for desperate measures of combat!

Fighting with the self is the best battle of all. The victory and loss are both sincere to you. You are the sword and you, too, are the shield. If you fall, part of you is still standing. If you stand, you have simply defeated the weaker fragment of the self.

I have been there; I have fought the battle and waged war against myself. It was an active, conscious execution that helped me survive through the toughest times. It was not easy and there were skeptic fits that made me question myself. That was my self! Fighting with me! I put up a worthy fight and cross-questioned. I argued, debated, reasoned; using my weaponry of experience, intellect, wisdom, self-commitment, self-esteem and humor! And then, I evolved like a chivalrous warrior having lost a part of my self but having gained the “ME” which is a greater part of the self.

Your self can be a quicksand if you let it run wild and untamed. Broiling in it, threatening to engulf you are demons of your negative psychology: fear, doubt, complexes, lust, envy, greed and all the possible you can think of from Pandora’s box. The self needs to be consciously shaped through restructuring and polishing to avoid sinking into its super massive holes.

The world continues to play host to psychological diversity and you cannot wage wars with every second person who has a different mindset than yours. So instead of trying to take control of the planet and finding yourself to be a rebel without a cause it is more fruitful to control your internal conflicts.

“Seek to win from yourself, and within yourself, rather than from the world you cannot control.”