Monday, April 18, 2016

Abbie Says: #15 "Others Should Never Be Benchmarks"

To be able to live peacefully --- I have learned --- that you need to be at peace with yourself. everybody moves at a different pace and trying to match that pace is simply going to make things difficult --- particularly when your Achilles tendon goes berserk from stress and strain. Differentiate this advice from self-improvement, please. You referencing better people to auto-correct the kinks in your persona is good. But trying to copy paste their life's strategies to yours is going to make you a roadkill because you'd simply be overrun. You should strive for your own signature walk on the runway of life. 
I had my heart set on becoming a doctor once upon a time. It was a self-announced life goal and it was born from some sort of subconscious pressure to be the best --- career-wise --- and I had others set up before me as benchmarks. Some benchmarks were not even real --- they were imaginary --- and I felt like the biggest rebel on the planet when I announced a change of track. But I figured I was wearing myself out trying to catch the pace of others who were cut out for becoming doctors. I was not meant to be for that track. 
Then there was the high school and college eras which always feel like a big rave out of control party to me. There were so many implied benchmarks there. There was the race to be the prettiest, the race to be the most popular, and so on. I wore myself out trying to run that race for survival. Finally, I figured out I could be myself --- run my own race --- and still survive. 


  1. Awww, I like this post. It's an every day struggle to not compare myself to others. But perhaps someone is comparing themself to me? Who defines success anyway? You can listen to what people say or you can define it for yourself.

    1. I end up comparing --- despite the advice I have written down for myself --- because there is always someone making that comparison FOR me and making it obvious!


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